Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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