so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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