is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
