His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
