Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize