Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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