I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
