ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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