omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone shattered a urinal.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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