Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
