I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
