That's when you crack a 10am beer
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
