So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
