david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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