Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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