And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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