we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
