So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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