Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
