Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
