Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
