Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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