my sisters under your porch take her home
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How's work?
Spinning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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