I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
