it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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