i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
