Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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