entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
