great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
