Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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