does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize