Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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