There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
