last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
