He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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