I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
