i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize