Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
