Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
