All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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