This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
