dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize