He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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