I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
