I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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