shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
