They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just found puke in my bra..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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