Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
