Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
