At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
