I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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