Whod you bang
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
