He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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