A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
lol hangovers are for mortals.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
