we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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