I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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