I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
