how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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