it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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