I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
